Patrick Whitney: “I can save Britney”

by New Idiom


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In a startling display of selflessness, Patrick Whitney, director of the IIT Institute of Design, announced his intention to help struggling popstar Britney Spears. Whitney is the latest to join the long line of celebrities who believe they have what it takes to restore sanity in Ms. Spears.

“The problem isn’t booze, drugs, or even deep rooted psychological problems,” says Whitney, “It’s really more of a systems design issue”.

Whitney, who is extremely busy with visionary leadership duties at Institute of Design, as well as a variety of consulting projects and speaking engagements, is convinced that this is his dream job.

“I’m willing to completely clear my schedule to work with Ms. Spears,” says Whitney, “Let’s be frank, she’s facing an Innovation Gap, she has the finances to make virtually anything, but lacks the skills and talent to understand what consumers really want.”

Whitney believes that design thinking is really the only thing that can help the Grammy Award winning artist.

“Honestly, that Dr. Phil character doesn’t know jack. Britney’s got a wicked problem, and I plan on fixing it.”